Get Thee Behind Me Dennys

On account of the Memorial Day holiday, like so many others I didn't start my work week until Tuesday. So to avoid two cross country flights and 24 hour turnaround at the house, I decided to stay on the west coast this weekend. Thought I would get my Saturday off to a good start so I headed down to Dennys for a hot meal and to catch up on the local news. It's only two blocks from my pad and a stone’s throw from the UCLA campus.

Glancing through an otherwise very familiar menu, I was blind-sided by the very last page and especially the timing of the matter. It read "For our Guests 55 plus" and listed a dozen or so heart healthy meals at discounted prices. Guests 55 plus? I think that's just code word for Senior Citizens, which is just the politically correct word for Old People.

"Hey wait a second" I gulped rhetorically. I'm hitting the double nickel this week, tomorrow in fact. What a slap-in-the-face wakeup call this was. I felt like I had been drenched in a tub of chilled margarita mix.

I know ole Dennys probably means well, but I don't think I'm quite ready to throw in the towel and lump myself into that geriatric wading pool demographic. Not yet anyway. Just because I've got grand-daughters and get up three times at night to pee, I'm no senior citizen, at least in my mind.

The truth is, except for getting my driver’s license; I can't remember another point in my life where my specific age had anything to do with anything. And I've driven 18 wheelers, spent two days cooking Turducken, and almost went out with Sela Ward, all sorts of things; and not one thing had to do with my age. Well maybe except when I turned fifty and went to Key West with my wife Tina and her two hot sisters. That was a hoot and an ego trip to boot. Total strangers would come up and tell me what a lucky man I was. And I was, but that's another story for another time.

Nope, looking back at it, I seem to remember or classify my life not so much by my age but rather by what I was doing, or who I was with, or where I was living. I never really did pay a lot of attention to my age. Course when you never act your age you don't have to!

Nope Mr Denny. I am going to eat my three eggs over easy and pay full price for now thank you very much. And I'm not going to start living like I'm dying either. I spend way too much time in hospitals and can say first hand that's no way to go. No I'm going to keep on keeping on like I've done for, well for 55 years. Heck fire, I'm still married to the sexiest woman in Southwest Virginia, just about to get the pool room finished, and even started taking electric guitar lessons. So I'm not backing off my throttle in the least. I don't care how much money I can save on pancakes.

I appreciate the reminder Dennys, but I've got miles to go before I sleep, if you catch my drift. But if I ever want some good chipped beef on toast for sixty cents on the dollar, I know where I'm headed.