007 or Maxwell Smart

Yeah baby, that’s what I’m talking about. Man that was one big news story last week. No, not the one about Michael Jackson getting buried in his sunglasses, though that does seem a bit odd. The other one, the one about Jose the preacher from Bolivia who hijacked a plane because God told him to. As the story goes, it seems God picked this one preacher from some little town in Oaxaca to steal a plane in order ‘to warn the President of Mexico about an impending earthquake that would result in countless loss of life in one of the worst disasters in modern history’ I believe is how he put it.

Now I refuse to have a knee jerk reaction, like I’m sure most people did, at least until I’ve read all the facts. Just because the preacher is a former drug addict and convicted armed robber doesn’t mean his head’s not on straight now. At least he’s not been molesting minors or shanking the church secretary, for all we know. Hey we all make mistakes. No I think I’m going to take this fellow at his word, that he has been in contact with God recently.

Let’s just put ourselves in his shoes for a minute. There are 6.784 billion people on earth, and God picks YOU for this super secret special mission; kind of a modern day Noah except without all the animals and rainfall. I get the vapors just thinking about it. This is a heavy duty. Then again, it’s God pulling the trigger. No way it’s going to fail. Anyway, you’ve got to get word to the president, and quick, to warn people of a disaster. Up till this part it does sound a lot like a Harrison Ford movie; seems like he’s always pretending to be the president or some high ranking official. In fact, Harrison may have been better go to man. He’s sharp, I don’t think he’s working, and I’ll bet he’s got contacts down there. But let’s just stick to the story.

Assuming the preacher is correct; still that does sounds like a rather unusual request particularly coming from a God who so loves the world. I have scoured the Bible a few times since the news broke and neither airplane nor hijack is ever mentioned. Must be verbiage from a new revised translation.

Then again, maybe the preacher only thought he heard something from God. There’s a great book out by Julian Jaynes- “The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of The Bicameral Mind”. (BTW if you ever want to impress a total stranger, take that on the plane and read it.) Jaynes’premise is that basically it was a physiological development in the brain that gave early man the impression that he and she were hearing voices, which they interpreted as commands from gods. Hmmm. That is interesting. And if this is the case, I’d rather not be the one to tell the preacher that he has the mental development of a Neanderthal; he’s had a pretty tough week as it is.

I’ll bet what happened is that the preacher just misunderstood what God said though it seems like an instruction like that ought to be mighty clear. Maybe what God intended was the fellow to get onboard a plane and go meet with the president or check online to see what the airfare was, you know rather than driving all the way to Mexico City. Heck I’ve got a good friend who flies me and the wife to their beach house all the time. He wouldn’t mind at all letting somebody borrow his plane, especially when there are lives on the line.

Here in our country we have the weather channel, a weather bureau, and those annoying radio tests that are suppose to warn people of conditions like this. That way weathermen can mind their business and preachers can mind their business. I guess in South America it doesn’t work like that.

Maybe God’s instructions got lost somehow in translation. After all Jose is from Bolivia. Or this preacher, what if maybe he wasn’t God’s first choice for this assignment. Maybe he was just a backup. Anyway, according to the news at least, I think the whole thing got botched up. Fell apart worse than the UT Vol’s offensive drive. God, if you’re going to have a natural disaster, especially one that’s going to kill a lot of innocent women and children, you need a little better plan, and next time pick somebody with a little more experience in communications and hijackings. Nope this one‘s not going to look to good on the ole resume. Frankly, it could be an outright PR nightmare.

Not to be bossy or nothing, but knowing how it was going to turn out, your man in handcuffs and probably facing federal charges, wouldn’t it have been a whole lot simpler just to call off the earthquake.